lonelywhiteasian: my dash is dead so i’m gonna liven it up with some fun, family-friendly text posts. let’s start this off, shall we? what’s brown and sticky?…. …. you guessed it…. … a stick! hahaha we’re all having fun here
paradisaic: paradisaic: my mom wouldn’t let me get a ferret when i was younger because she thought it would turn me gay well guess what mom it wasn’t the ferret that did it
do you ever just wanna kiss your boyfriend but realize you don’t have one
professionalvillageidiot: saltydreams: queefito: u are the blogging queen young and sweet only seventeen feel the heat of your laptop screen u can scroll u can scroll having the time of ur life
snapchatting: romantic playlist for that special someone Bring Me To Life - Evanescence Pitbull just anything by Pitbull Thrift Shop (Kidz Bop version) a ukulele cover of Call Me Maybe Jason Derulo saying “Jason Derulo”
sexponents: did soulja boy ever tell em
me half-way through shaving one leg: i dont want to do this anymore
gymleaderfrank: If my mom knew I had 57 tumblr followers she would stop telling me what to do.
babyferaligator: haha loser look at you sitting all by yourself at lunch but mom Im homeschooled
pilcachu: never trust an atom they make up everything
studied for 30 seconds im gonna rock this fuckin test
chickenheadspecial: “paint your pinky nail blue to end bullying!” “draw a semicolon on your wrist to end teenage suicide!” “paint a hot dog riding a skateboard on your forehead to end the destruction of the south american rainforest!”
if you compliment me once i’ll think about it every night for twelve years
vvant: let’s play a game called “are you staring at me because im hot or ugly”
sithlordtennant: For every reblog this gets, I will murder one of my classmates and carve your url into their spine.
inbox: Like a good neighbor, I do not care